Thursday, July 20, 2006

SCARED TO LOVE

Dear Raceman,

Enjoyed reading your blog insights. I'd be interested in your perspective on the "downlow" phenomenon, and its alleged impact on the increasing spread of HIV among black women. Aren't there enough challenges to our relationships without having worry about literally being screwed to death?

Peace,
Scared, Single, Celibate Sista

Dear Scared,

Sorry it took so long to get back to you on this, but if you read the fine print in my introduction, this is a Slog (Slow Blog) not a Blog.

That said, here goes.

"When in doubt, keep it zipped" just about sums up the result of my admittedly limited research on your query.

I talked with a few of my more sexually active acquaintances (at least they say they are. Short of jumping into bed with them and their partners, I have to take their word for it).

One, who is actually older and presumably more experienced than I - at least in matters of the heart - says the whole issue is a dodge. He says many women use rumors of a downlow epidemic as a way to mis-direct attention away from the real action - lesbianism. He cited a few cases of women he suspected were "muffsters" themselves who complained of Black men downlowers. I guess you could say he thought that if men are downlow, women are "downlower".

Anyhow, I have to say that I really have no real clue about this popular subject, Judging from the number of books, articles and Oprah shows, this is a lot more important than extending the Voting Rights Act. But something tells me it's no more an epidemic than syphillis, gonorhea and all the varied forms of STDs have been since men and women first found out why Adam and Eve got kicked out of the Garden.
Besides, I don't even see this as a "race" issue. "Whites", "Browns", "Yellows", "Reds" and every tint and hue that humans come in have been mixing it up for eons. Somebody once crooned "Birds do it, bees do it......".

I think it may be just another way to keep "Black" folks eyes off the real prize - true equality in the not-so-good-ol' U.S. A.

It seems you should use the same rule for any type of "intimate" activity, whether it's male-female, male-male, female-female, or any other myriad non-human possibilities . "Look before you leap". My buddy Dan (the name has been changed to protect the guilty), says, he sees getting frisky with anyone as group sex because, as the old saying goes, you're sleeping with all the folks they've slept with, without the benefit of multiple orgasms.

If you're still in the mood for love after all this, good luck.

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